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News Flashes from 2030:

“Ocean swallows New York,

Gets disgusted and spits it back out”

•

“Oil found spewing out of hillside,

Owner  sticks in thumb to stop flow”

•

“Storm pummels Washington, DC,

Causes  $5 billion in improvements”

•

“Trump buys Fox News,

Sorry, he already owned it”

•

“We warned you,

Today’s forecast high is 182 degrees”

•

“Hilary buys CNN,

Sorry, she already owned it”

•

“Ride a windmill, Spin

around and around and go absolutely nowhere”

•

“Nation at a standstill,

Climate change causes magnetic pole issues,

electric vehicles won’t work”

•

“Taylor Swift breaks up with boyfriend,

Writes hit song about it”

•

“Big Brother is watching you,

Call the cops and have him arrested”

•

“The Odd Couple,

Mitch McConnell and Nancy Pelosi get married, expecting little non-functional robot kids”

•

“We warned you,

Yadkin River hot enough to boil an egg”

•

“Critical Race Theory removed from schools, Blame the White people”

•

“Poor Putin,

Russian leader apologizes,

gives his country to Curacao”

•

“Curacao swallowed by ocean,

Putin snickers”

•

“Tom Brady back in NFL,

Balls really deflated now”

•

“Latvian Love,

Arturs Irbe new NATO leader”

•

“Thumb shrinks,

Oil spewing again from hillside”

•

“Forsyth annexes Davie,

changes mind and gives it back”

•

“Davie annexes Forsyth,

EMS services to move there”

•

“COVID is back,

443rd booster shot recommended”

•

“Mid-Term Crisis,

President tests positive for brain matter”

•

“Read all about it,

Newspaper columnist charged with stupidity”