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‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Trump land
The people rejoiced, things are so grand.
The signs had been placed by the roadside with care,
In hopes that voters would soon drive by there.
The faithful were nestled, all snug in their beds,
Whiles visions of border walls danced in their heads.
And mamma in her PJs and I in my MAGA cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
No more global warming stealing the show.
Then what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
Then a big black pickup truck, coming so near.
A parade in Advance, always so much candy
And there they came, all dressed like dandies.
Dark coats and glasses, oh what a cast,
Characters so sordid, I ran so fast.
There was a little ole’ driver, so lively and quick
I couldn’t see, but was it St. Nick?
Who were they by his side, so serious and grim
County commissioners, by golly, I recognize him!
And up on the top, just dancin’ around
Was an orange-faced man, maybe a clown.
No, that’s the President, someone exclaimed,
On top of his head, you can’t forget that mane.
Is that Ronnie or Donald or even JD
It doesn’t matter, he’ll pardon you and me.
The reindeer aren’t there, they all ran in fear
They heard the word venison and said not this year.
We’re draining the North Pole, of all of this nonsense
And bringing back greatness, in all of its contents.

The liberals, they held their children real close
We can’t believe that people, liked him the most.
A narcissist, a criminal, a fraud and a liar,
Democracy is dead, I fear the pending mire.
Just look at his cabinet, what a bunch of crooks
But the faithful will like them, without a second look.
They’ll burn and plunder, all of our rights
Until we think like them, oh what a sight.
Our country will change, forever damaged
By a man whose own businesses, he can’t even manage.
He’s rude and mean, with one thought of mind
You’ll like me or I’ll degrade, all of your kind.

But what’s that I hear, way up on the roof
It sounds like prancing and pawing, of each little hoof.
It’s Santa’s reindeer, they really do exist
Democrats, Republicans, or maybe a mix.
As I drew my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He wasn’t Red and he wasn’t Blue
He had a sack of presents, for me and you.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.
Politics aside, he shouted out loud
All Americans should be so proud.
And he filled the stockings, Dems and GOP too
We’re in this together, me and you.
And laying a finger on the side of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heared him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”
– Mike Barnhardt