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Editorial: ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas meets Mocksville

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town

Not a creature was stirring, because of the shutdown.

The parties were scheduled, all with much care,

In hopes that revelers, would soon be there.

The elderly were sheltering, sunggled in their own beds

While visions of visitors, danced in their heads.

And Cooper with his crown, and Cohen with her mask

Vowing to keep us safe, what a thankless task.

When out on the square, there arose such a clatter

I arose from my office, to see what was the matter.

Up the sidewalk, I ran like a flash

Turned my head to the right at the end of that dash.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

Were wild horses in rainbow colors, why here?

And women and trees, on a building no doubt

Folks in the town began to pout.

But wait, its time for Santa Claus

Maybe they’re reindeer, let’s take a pause.

It’s just art, you’re not all supposed to shudder

From differing opinions of one another.

Go back to town hall, and the county building too

And see who’s in charge, by golly it’s you.

Don’t complain, don’t dismay, don’t chatter

About something silly, that really doesn’t matter.

Imagine it’s Santa, and all his reindeer

Coming to Mocksville, to spread Christmas cheer.

They’re happy, they’re jolly and glad

If horses running for their lives, it would be so sad.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard someone say

I like it, I like it, it’s here to stay.

It makes me proud, that here in my town

We celebrate diversity, up and down.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around

People screamed it’s New Age, sin will abound.

Anti-Christ and gay, there’s no place for that here

Especially at Christmas, it’s the wrong kind of cheer.

I see goddesses and rainbows and stars and the moon

That’s not our town, and I’ll tell you again soon.

We won’t back down, we’re here to say

We’ll rid this town of it’s evil way.

Then I closed my eyes, and wondered out loud

How in the world can a town, stand out in a crowd.

Have a cat as an officer, that might do the trick

To keep us on the map, as hillbilly hicks.

No bed race, no concerts, no parades this year

Bad boy coronavirus, has us in fear.

We’ve stayed home ‘till we’re sick of that place

Want to go out, but what will we face?

Sin on a wall, and oozing out of bars

Why do these people even get out of their cars?

To eat, to drink and to be merry

And top it all off, with a marachino cherry.

Wait, up in the sky, what’s that I hear

Could it be Santa, and all the reindeer?

I hear him say, as he veers out of sight

Merry Christmas to all, and mask up tonight!

– Mike Barnhardt